Pagan Blog Project 2012 - D is for Dedication

I think I'm having issues with the idea of being dedicated. I am dedicated to my beliefs and I'm dedicated to my family and my Covenmates. I'm even dedicated to my job / students. However, when it comes to dedicating certain things to myself, well - I don't seem to be able to commit. Is it that I'm over-dedicated? Do I have too much on my plate and subconsciously I'm just protecting myself? Am I just making excuses? I have dedicated myself to finishing the work required for my First Degree and I want to get it done. I don't have much left to do - a couple of rituals to write, some devotionals. Then I need to organize it and put it all together. And, it's possible that I've lost some of the earlier writings on a flash drive that is not reliable. I feel like I have to force myself to work on these things and that makes me resent the whole process. So, I end up staring at the computer screen, cursor blinking at me, and nothing coming out of my brain. My fingers won't move in a coherent way. I really have to figure it out. I don't know what more I can do right now. I worry about this, fret over it, beat myself up and nothing seems to make a difference. So - dedication to self is what I need to commit to.

Pagan Blog Project 2012 - C is for Coven

I can't imagine being a solitary witch. My beloved coven is such a part of my spiritual life that I just don't know how I could have the same feelings as a solitary. The energies that I feel when I am in circle with my coven are so beautiful, so energizing that I feel sustained. Each of my Coven mates are unique and special. They each bring such love into my life. Blackberry Circle Coven holds open rituals for a few Sabbats each year. It is always so amazing when visitors come to a ritual who have never been in a circle before. The members of the coven take places at the quarter gates and, of course, lead the ritual so we're in position to help guide the energies in the circle. We try to give newbies and solitaries an experience that they will find rewarding in some way. Like I said at the start, I can't imagine being a solitary. I would miss out on so much without my Coven. I love you guys so much!!

Bright Blessings

Imbolc

Last night my coven celebrated our Imbolc ritual. We celebrated in our circle, under the very bright moon light. The ritual was written and led by one of our students and he did quite a good job. He led the group in a guided meditation to cast the circle. We acknowledged the lengthening, warming days and looked forward to the coming of Spring. The moon was so, so bright!!!

We also had our last class with our most recent class of students. The topic for the night - Pagan ethics. We had quite a lively discussion for about 2 hours and we decided that, for our group at least, the 8 words of the Rede were our guiding principal. We talked at length about the concept of doing no harm and what that means to each of us. For me, personally, doing no harm means protecting others from harm as well. I try to always remember the Law of 3 and karma. I have to understand that what I do is going to have karmic consequences, for either good or bad, and I must be responsible for my own decisions and actions and willing to accept the karma I earn. I try to live my life in such a way that I can meet my own gaze in the mirror every morning. I think that is one of the main reasons I was drawn to Wicca early on - in my life there is no such thing as "The Devil made me do it." I find it cowardly that Christians rely on an entity of evil to be tempting them into sin - why can't they just take personal responsibility for their own decisions and actions? Ah well. I guess each has to live by their own standard.

Bright Blessings!

Pagan Blog Project 2012 - C is for Crone

I'm a 55 year young Crone. I can say that proudly now. There was a time just a few years ago when I spent all my time telling my daughter that I was too young to be a grandmother. Then my grandson was born. I took a long, hard look at my life and I realized I needed to embrace my age, my body (that's still a work in progress), and my Crone-hood. I believe I have done that, well all but the body part. I'm so happy to be my age now. I'm proud and pleased that my adult daughters have grown into delightful, intelligent women and that I'm the grandmother to the most amazing grandchildren in the world. Getting to this point has brought a contentment that I have not known before.

Just another day at the 'office'

Some days I honestly wish it was ethical to just ground, center and hurl curses. There is not a single group of people who need to be cursed more than high school juniors!! Why? Well, I took the day off yesterday for a doctor's appointment and I got back to school today to find that my students had just blown off the instructions I'd left for them. That just chaps my behind!!! So as each class came in I thanked those few who who did what I asked and then proceeded to chew out the rest of the class. Then, the real punishment. I rearranged everyone's seating. They really get comfortable sitting beside the same person and conversations develop. So, all it takes to shake them up a little is reassign seating. I have to be out again tomorrow for some school business so we will see how the seating works. Next time I may not be able to control the urge to fling curses on some of my 'darling' students!! 

No challenge today

Well, it's been a week since I've posted. Not so long ago I would have been beating myself up, screaming LOSER! This is the nice thing about growing older and continuing to grow up. Today I can accept a couple of things. First of all, I don't feel compelled to write every day. Secondly - the challenge topics were just not that interesting to me. For the ones that were, well - I wrote some fairly long posts. For the others it felt forced to me. So, I have decided that after a week to re-evaluate I can decide to just write when something is on my mind; write about what is on my mind.

Funny story I can share with you. A week or so ago one of my students, a special needs student, came in a little more hyper than usual. After a minute or two I looked at him and said, "OK, enough. Sit." The young man then walks over to his desk, reaches into his backpack and pulls out his Harry Potter wand, points it at me and says, "I curse you!" I looked at him, trying not to laugh, and said, "Little boy, you'd better put that weapon away before I break it over my knee." He scuttles back to his desk and shoves the wand back into the backpack. The entire class was laughing out loud. The boy then looks at me and says, "It wasn't going to be the Crucio curse. It was going to be Imperio, so you'd have to do what I say." Kids, what are you going to do? LOL

As for the Pagan Blog Challenge, I'm going to TRY to post on that every Friday. However - I'm giving myself a break on that too. If I don't have anything to say about a topic I'm not going to force something that is not true to ME. That's right. ME - that's what this blog is all about and I'm not going to apologize for it. This is the first time in my life I've been able to do that and I'm suddenly feeling quite proud of my Crone-hood.

Bright Blessings

Challenge Day 22 - What's in my purse

Well, I posted yesterday but it was the Pagan Blog Challenge a day late and not Day 21 for me. Since I absolutely do not have a favorite picture of all time I'm going to skip that post and move on. The point of this was to blog every day, not necessarily what I am writing about. So today - what's in my purse. Well, long story short - my life. LOL - not really, but some days it feels like that. Of course, there is my wallet and all the stuff in there; ID, bank cards, some money, stamps, insurance cards, some photos. I also always carry a compact, a lipstick, some mascara, and a hair brush. I have 3 or 4 pens and a highlighter. OH LOOK - there are some Wisp toothbrushes and some breath mints as well as a peppermint. LOL Last, but not least - my calendar. Yes, I have one on my phone but I always, always carry a calendar that I can open and write in. That's my purse!

Bright Blessings!!